Six months Post Adoption

Being a family of 6 is finally sinking in and we are settling in. I've been asked lots of interesting questions just while grocery shopping--if I run a daycare (what daycare provider would take all the kids shopping??!!), if I just wanted a girl so adopted one after 2 boys, and lots of observations that look like I have my hands full. My response is usually that I sleep well at night--they do wear me out!

the A team at Tahquamenon Falls this summer

Looking back we don’t recognize the baby we came home with because we have a full blown toddler now. Writing our 6 month update for Ethiopia brought much to mind to praise God for and all the progress we’ve seen in Samira and our family adjustment. There is much we have learned and continue to learn through this process about ourselves, God and His love for us.

As we reminisced this weekend about that day, 6 months ago that we walked out of her orphanage with her, it just brings back so many emotions. That day was one of the hardest while in Ethiopia. As we sat at dinner Sept. 1^st and Samira happily ate in her high chair and then went to bed in her own room like it was nothing---that was all a miracle from half a year before. I remember our first day at dinner having to feed Samira what little she ate while holding her and standing, being unable to get her to drink a bottle, and being so nervous about how to get her to sleep at night. Phew we are so glad to have made so much progress since then!

This age has brought out more fun in her and lots of personality. She is a spicy one! Some sweet but a lot of spice!

Language

Samira has a lot to say lately and is very earnest about getting in our face and telling us—we just have no idea what she’s saying. She will babble something very seriously and looks at us like she fully expects us to understand but we don’t. She really understands us well and can follow commands like “Put your shoes in the basket” or “How do you ask politely?”. She will repeat almost anything especially if she is getting all the attention but sometimes it sounds nothing like what we are saying, just the same number of syllables. She doesn’t usually say more than 2 words together at a time but a few weeks ago she said a whole sentence—“Where did Daddy go?”. That definitely warmed Troy’s heart and shows just how far they’ve come in the last 6 months. Some new words she says are “Thank you”, “Aunt Meg”, “more”, and “milk”. She does a little rhyme thing to people (learned from Grandma A) or her babies—sounds nothing like it but you can tell by the motions and pitch of her voice what she’s doing. She is a passionate “bye-bye” yeller and really goes nuts waving goodbye to her daddy and also hello when he comes home. We think she’d make a great greeter.

Physical Development

Samira is growing like a weed and it shows in her height and weight (and HAIR!). I don’t have numbers but we were measuring Asher on our growth chart and saw how many inches she’s grown since March and it was hard to believe.  Her muscles are getting stronger too but she continues to have some weak areas that we still work at with her physical therapist. In addition to her support vest she has to wear daily she added braces for her feet to her accessories.  Her hair is noticeably longer and thicker even in the last month and I can now put pigtails in it! I also have to learn to do a little more maintenance on it than before too! Flies, grass, food and Velcro are not her hair’s friends but the humidity sure is.  Luckily her curls are super soft and easier to care for than coarser hair. We are hopeful that her little gift she brought home from Ethiopia and shared is now finally out of our house and taken care of.  Parasites haven’t been so easy to get rid of and it’s good to know she is finally free of them. Luckily she never had ill side effects that bothered her.  There was an eye roll thing she used to do a lot especially in front of new people that she almost never does now. I notice it only if I’m rocking her and looking down at her—the intense eye contact still seems to be too much sometimes. In August finally we have gotten rid of her constant runny nose! She has had that literally since March and we were told this would be normal as she’s introduced to all these new germs, like a kid going to daycare. Luckily she hasn’t had any ear infections or fevers since she’s been home, so for that we are thankful.

Sleep

We have a good sleeper in Samira—she goes down without a fight almost always and likes to sleep in if she gets the chance. She is really fond of her blankie, or she just doesn’t want anyone else to play with it. She takes one nap a day, usually at least 2 hours. If she wakes up early it doesn’t matter how short her nap was, she will not sleep again. Even if she only had a cat nap, she can handle little sleep really well. If she’s having fun, you’d never know—it comes out in easy tears. Even though she goes to sleep without a fuss, waking up is another story. Waking up unhappy is one bad habit we think all the babies did at the orphanage (at least we were told) –in their defense I think they were all short on sleep but now she likes to wake up with a pretty crabby-sounds like-I’m-not-ready-to-be-awake cry. I try to be upbeat and smiling when I come in to nix her mood. Now I ask her if she’s happy before I get her up and she’ll say “Happy”. She’s getting a little better at not crying every time she wakes up. Lately her new thing is to get her legs stuck in between her crib rails—it seems like she does it on purpose and won’t do anything to get them out. When she falls asleep we often find a foot or leg hanging outside. She’s always seemed to like having limbs hanging out of her crib and that might have been from having a crib-mate right next to her at her orphanage.

Food

The last few months she became very picky and would refuse t o take a bite of many many things. After putting up with it for a while, I quit and started making her try a bite of the food she rejected. Most of the time she will eat it too---I don’t know if she learned she’s not winning that game or most of the time she actually likes the food. I’ve learned to give her food in courses, beginning with the healthiest thing I want her to eat (veggies) then get to the things I know she’ll eat,(meat) down to the easy stuff (breads, cheese, fruit). I have to do that otherwise the second she sees the fruit for example she will drop whatever she’s currently eating and refuse to eat anymore of that. She can pound oatmeal, now loves berries and meats. She is working on eating with a spoon—it’s not always pretty but she’s getting the hang of it. I have her practice on her oatmeal and let me tell you—she can fit a lot in one bite—she can unhinge that jaw and get a mega size spoonful in all at once. Sometimes it’s easier to just spoon feed her all her meals for time’s sake, and she prefers it, but I try to let her figure it out/teach her because it seems really hard for her.  Food is something that we wonder how deep seated some of her habits can be from her year without us. If there is food out she can hardly concentrate on anything else/comes running if she hears a wrapper/cupboard/fridge open.  She’s fine if we are out of the kitchen but if food is around, she’ll be begging for it. You don’t have to call her twice for dinner-she will be right there by her highchair wanting to get up while I’m still cooking. She is still very protective of her food also—don’t you dare try to help her hold that _____ or grab her bag to open it---she gets super mad. Something we need to work on is teaching her not to eat any and everything she may find—whether it’s someone else’s, on the floor, old….etc. it will be an issue in public places for sure when she tries to eat any crumb she finds, no matter where she finds it!

Attachment

Looking back over the summer we see Samira really blossoming in our family. There were many times Troy and I would exchange worries about her not being happy here. In a way it’s true and to be expected---yanking her from her trusted caregivers and putting her in a family that were strangers. The growth we’ve seen in her these past couple months revealing her personality to us shows us a lot and now we can look at her and honestly believe she is happy here with us. I think she’s comfortable and confident and we see more and more of her silly self. She loves being the center of attention and will do absolutely anything Lawson does. We had a family vacation recently that left me feeling happy/excited with the way we bonded as a family over that week---nothing specific happened, just a lot of quality time (and of course having Troy with us all week was a big difference). Samira is much more affectionate than she used to be which to me shows her comfort around us. She freely cuddles, hugs and kisses almost always when we ask her to or if she needs it after an injury. Thankfully she seems less eager to go to complete strangers who are female and older—in our view this is good that she’s establishing who is known to her and who isn’t (even if they are in her trusted demographic)

Sibling Relationships

Her siblings have taught her so much and if there is anything we want her to do (like a therapy exercise), we just have a big one do it and just like that, she will do it. In a way I think it’s competitive with Lawson—she will NOT be outdone by him but also I pray someday she will look up to him. As much as they get at each other, you can tell she loves having all of them around.  One day this summer Lawson was running a fever and I tried to contain him on the couch and I noticed she didn’t leave the radius around the couch all day. She really follows them around everywhere inside and out. Recently I do notice her pushing or hitting Lawson which may not be her fault considering she gets her fair share of whomps and shoves but it also is unprovoked and seems not aggressive either.  Just something I want to note how it changes over time with their relationship.

silly sisters

Going out

The steep adjustment period I think is finally settled and I am getting used to what it takes to go places. Samira loves getting in the car and going away. She even goes to nursery at church and does fine there. (they have snacks after all!) She only doesn’t love drop off (if it’s me) and not being picked up first (seeing other kids leave).

Playing

Samira has the talent of imitation---oh my-- she will copy anything. While typing I look over and she is scratching her fingers on a book just like me, she will pick up anything rectangle shaped and put it to her ear like a phone. Even when I wash the floor, she will get down on hands and knees and act like she’s wiping things. It is like I have my own little shadow. Sometimes it’s good when we want her to do things---other times when it’s copying Lawson, it is not good. We use it to our advantage with her exercises or things the therapist wants her to do. Reading books is getting a little better but it rarely feels like she’s even listening to the story—it’s more to sit there and turn pages but she does have a longer “sit” in her than before. I’m now trying to read repetitive books or repeat the same few books to hopefully help with her vocabulary since she is such a repeater. She can now play sometimes by herself not in the same room as me for a few minutes and especially if the other kids are with her.

 

Likes/Dislikes

Samira loves people, grandmas, females in particular, very comfortable with our extended family she sees regularly,  her blankie, walking around with food/holding her own bag/cup, following her siblings around, any time it is time to eat, acting silly, dancing, going “bye bye”, baths and water, stroller rides…she’s pretty fun!  

She really dislikes being either last, or left out—for instance getting out of her carseat last or high chair or others going outside before her.  She’s got a serious fear of missing out especially if we are out of sight. She’s not a fan of food being taken from her.

*There is still a head scratching thing that she does we don’t know always how to handle—it’s this inability to help herself sometimes when she breaks down. It can be when she’s tired but not necessarily. She might want something, not get it and have a meltdown but it may be in reach or we may be right there holding out our arms and she will not move an inch toward what she wants. There are many varied circumstances that this happens in but a behavior we’ve noticed.

**We recently talked about how much better she is doing with not crying/wailing about everything. I remember sometime this spring saying "I just need her to give me a 10 second grace period!" She'd erupt into tears at anything and everything not getting what she wanted or me not getting something fast enough...you name it--there were a lot of tears. Now she does still cry for a lot of ridiculous reasons but it is far less and I feel not as instantaneous. She does have a hard time reigning it in if she doesn't get her way but it will go off as quickly as it goes on when she's distracted or gets what she wants. 

our Ethiopian bathin' beauty