Announcement and Status

If you’ve seen me lately, you might be questioning the status of our adoption. The reason for those of you who aren’t seeing us regularly is that we are expecting a baby in February! We are so excited for this new addition and anxious for his or her arrival!

That being said, our summer has brought a rollercoaster of adoption news and any given month, our plan may have changed.  We are still passionately pursuing international adoption from Ethiopia, so much so, we have two concurrent adoptions going!  It is too hard to break down that decision but I am pleased we took a few months to make our decision after our current agency, Adoption Associates (AAI), announced their sad news in May.  AAI’s Ethiopia program is still open and they are cautiously optimistic. The future is still very uncertain for their program which is why we decided to continue there, but also start the process with another agency.  Since we have the paperwork done with AAI and fees paid, it doesn’t hurt us to stay on their wait list to see if it will result in a referral.  In addition, as of September 1, we began another adoption from Ethiopia through America World Adoption Agency (we’ll refer to them as AWAA or America World, not to be confused with AAI).  Both agencies have approved us to have two adoptions going at once and AWAA in particular doesn’t let our pregnancy affect our progress in their program. 

How many kids could you be adding to your family you ask? We don’t know! We’re willing to let God work that out as well as the timing of potentially 2 adoptions with biological children mixed in there. AWAA is a large agency and has hundreds of families on their wait list. At the current pace adoptions are being completed in Ethiopia, they estimate the wait time will be 5-7 years. That is why we are starting this process now, knowing it may take that long.

Currently what we’re doing is just kind of sitting with AAI-playing the waiting game (still) and now trying to complete our dossier for AWAA.  We really want to get this paperwork done for AWAA before the end of October which will be tough but keeps us constantly working at it.

We hope that is the least confusing way to explain what’s going on in our adoption world right now!  Thank you so much for your thoughts, inquiries, and prayers for us these last few months. We are sticking with it but realize we have a long road ahead of us. With God all things are possible, that includes our adoption!  J We are putting our trust in Him who knows how He will build our family in the coming years.

New information

We are overdue to update our friends and family on what is happening with our adoption! Here it is!

 In April our Immigration approval came up for renewal. It was two years old! We can’t believe we started this process that long ago! The renewal didn’t require too much, just paperwork and a home study update. During that update we did change some of our criteria. At the rate Ethiopian adoptions are happening we felt we needed to open up our age range a bit. As a result, we are now approved for a child up to 2 years of age (which is actually 2 years 11 months) and are willing to accept a sibling set. (up to 2 children)

In the middle of that update we received very shocking news that has affected our adoption since. Our caseworker informed us that our agency, AAI, was most likely completing their current cases with referrals (=not us) and then exiting work in Ethiopia as quickly as possible. They feel with the current difficulties with adoptions in Ethiopia the problems are insurmountable and cannot sustain their program at the pace it has been operating at. Their hands are tied as well as their representatives. I won’t go into more detail here but if you have questions, feel free to ask! Our agency highly encouraged the waiting families to find another program to adopt through or other plan but they cannot guarantee a referral in the future. The bottom line is AAI feels the future of adoptions in Ethiopia is bleak and our doorway into Ethiopia seems to have a time limit.

Honestly, we were pretty blindsided by this news and emotional about it. Here we thought the long wait would be our challenge! After the shock wore off and we could think clearly about what comes next, we really felt God’s peace.  The time we’ve taken has given us some perspective. We know that God still has a plan even when it seems to have gone awry. Our hearts are still tied to Ethiopia and the estimated 4.6 million orphans in that country alone. We know God will “work for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28) and He is moving is unseen ways.

Verses we have found comfort and encouragement from:

James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”

James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am you God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Philippians 1:6 “he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…”

Our agency gave us a June 1^st deadline to decide what we would do-- continue in the Ethiopia program, fully aware of the risks and unlikelihood of referral, withdraw, or transfer to another of their programs. The third option isn’t feasible because for various reasons we don’t qualify for any of their other programs beside domestic. About half of the families on the waiting list removed themselves from the Ethiopia program or transferred elsewhere.

What we decided based on the information we have currently is to buy ourselves a bit more time. Now our deadline is July 31^st to see what happens in the time until then.  We have been encouraged by the number of families travelling this month from our agency and others. The likelihood of us starting with a new agency after July 31^st is pretty high but we just want to be certain that it is the right move for us. You can pray for us as we seek God’s will as we continue forward and for confidence in what we decide.

With all that being said, we are number 17 now.  Thank you, sincerely, for those of you praying for us through this. Please continue and pray for a miracle in Ethiopian adoptions!

<3 The Averys

One year in

This month marks one year on the wait list for us, so that calls for an update! We have moved very few places because there have been almost no referrals since early 2014. There are many reasons for this but mainly the holdup is in Ethiopia. We have known the situation there for a while but honestly it’s been pretty hard to swallow. Our agency sent their founder, head of the program and executive director there in October to talk to key contacts and get a feel for things in Ethiopia. The overall impression is that this slowdown we’ve experienced since earlier in the year is the new pace of things. International adoption is continuing in Ethiopia and the head of the Ministry of Women, Youth and Children’s Affairs (MOWYCA) has stated there is no intent to close international adoptions; however it is a last resort for their children.  Improving the integrity of the process is important and it is good for their children to stay in their culture if possible but the downside is the kids who are waiting without families for so long.  Our agency now estimates our timeline to be 3 years wait time until referral. People have asked us if there is another adoption route we could go and there are, but we are committed to Ethiopia. Ethiopia has really grown in our hearts and we are calling on God to bring this to completion. Our child will be worth the wait!

I looked back at the last blog post and kind of laughed at myself and how positive I was. We, very smugly, thought we’d be super-star adoptive parents and this wait time would fly by with no complaints from us! Very soon after joining the wait list we were drawn into the ups and downs of waiting parents.  An email with good news lifts our spirits, rumors fly about bad news dampen them…..it goes like that each week or month with shifts in the climate of Ethiopian adoptions all the time! That is what we couldn’t have prepared for even when it is a well-known fact that international adoption is unpredictable and really, uncontrollable. The only thing getting us through, reminding us of our calling, is constant conversation with the Lord. We pray for a miracle, for lots of referrals, for His hand working in Ethiopia, movement even when we can’t see it, for patience, the Ethiopian officials, and the birth family….the list goes on. At times we didn’t know what to pray because no movement seemed to be happening. This is when we feel like our dear friends have stepped in on our behalf—in prayer and in encouragement. It is so uplifting to us when people randomly tell us they were thinking of us or ask for updates. A big thank you to all those who are praying for us/our child! We’re convinced we need to “pray this baby home”.  Right now in the waiting period it is all we can do.

We know that God’s timing is perfect but there are days when we are aching for our missing family member. God is using this time to refine us as parents and Christ-followers. God will see this to completion and His faithfulness is unending.  One day, I’m sure we will look back on this period of time and think how minor it was because of the blessing of our child.

On a lighter note, if you ever get the chance to enjoy Ethiopian cuisine, we highly recommend it! On National Adoption Day and the day after our official 1 year on the wait list, we had friends take us to Altu’s. Altu’s is an Ethiopian restaurant near us and it did not disappoint! Our friends navigated the menu for us (having two adopted from Ethiopia, they are the experts!) and we just really enjoyed the flavors. Injera is a spongey sourdough-like bread that we used to pick up the meat and vegetables. We had to do it Ethiopian style, of course, and shared platters and didn’t use utensils. It was a pleasure and wonderful to learn more about our future child’s culture! We will be celebrating there in the future often.

On a final note, we’re number 44!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ways you can pray for us:

God’s hand on our baby’s situation

Referrals!

Peace with God’s timing of our referral

Regional directors in Ethiopia (signature required on documents)

Latest Happenings

***If you haven’t read the previous blog post, please do! There are still approx. 30 kids still needing sponsors when I last heard.***

This isn’t unexpected that we really don’t have many updates during this waiting period. Our movement hasn’t really changed in a few months which is a bit discouraging but not that all surprising. This is what we knew we were signing up for with international adoption: unpredictable, uncontrollable, can-change-at-any-time. I think we were surprised to see how much of a rollercoaster it really is….getting good news, bad news, awful news, great news….it is changing all the time. Thankfully, the news we are receiving seems to be that the country of Ethiopia is moving in a good direction for their precious kids to improve the integrity of their processes.

Right now we are still at #57 but we are optimistic for the changes that have been happening in Ethiopia. Our hearts go out to the families who have been stuck in the middle of this transition time and have had referrals for way too long but are not getting court dates to travel. Ethiopian officials are aware of those cases that haven’t moved and they are working to resolve them.  We are encouraged by that display of concern for the kids and adoptive families. In other news, effective immediately within Ethiopia orphanages are now required to seek out domestic adoptive families for two months before the child will be considered available for international adoption. This means a child will need to be in the orphanage for a minimum of two months before his/her adoptive paperwork can be generated. This was a bit hard to swallow at first but we realize this is in the best interest of the Ethiopian children and we hope the new way of doing things is a smooth, quick transition.

Even if things don’t pick up and we continue creeping along at this pace, we are confident in God’s sovereignty in this process. Something we have picked up also is that we haven’t met an adoptive family yet who doesn’t truly believe in “God’s timing”. We know there is purpose in the wait and continue to seek what the Lord has for us to learn as parents and individually during this time.  He alone knows the day our child will be brought home and I can trust Him to make the detail fall into place to make it happen. In the meantime, I arm myself with scripture that tells me God’s promises and we know those are certain, true, predictable, and trustworthy.

!!! Attention family, ahem, MOM, grandmas....etc.!!!
Since it is obvious we don't post much and it will probably stay that way until we get a referral/are travelling, you can receive an automatic email when we've posted a new blog post if you sign up on the right sidebar of the full web version. Input your email where there is a box that says "follow by email". Wouldn't want you to miss any exciting news because you aren't checking this daily. :)

For my own records:

Notable things we’ve done in anticipation of our next child:

1- went to a meeting about doing African hair by an adoptive mom/hairstylist by profession- challenged accepted, great tips
2-seminar on attachment disorder by Kurt Ellis-excellent info, highly recommend  

3-introduced to an adoptive family (x2 from Ethiopia) right at our church

Help Wanted

I’ve been hearing from or reading about adoptive parents who say that once you adopt from Ethiopia you will want to do more to help your child’s country of birth.  We also are at a point where we feel like we are doing nothing for our adoption. The solution to both of those was given to us by other adoptive families with our agency: child sponsorship in Ethiopia.  There is an organization called Children’s Hope Chest that has a sponsorship program just outside of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia (where we will travel to). If you join us in sponsoring a child we can make arrangements to go meet them. Yes, you read that right-meet them IN PERSON! How cool is that? We signed up to sponsor a cutie, Abeba.

Troy and I are super excited that we can go meet these kids when we travel! If any of our family or friends wants to sign up, we would love to visit and take pictures of your sponsored child too! Consider this your opportunity to give to us rather than attending a fundraiser! We would love for the rest of the 46 kids to be sponsored who are eligible.  It is only $34. a month ($408 per year). There is a lot more information on the website that gives details of sponsorship…etc. If you’re familiar with Compassion International, it is similar. Check it out at: http://www.hopechest.org/community/burayu/

 

Lucky Number

Something about our agency that suits us well is the fact that we get to know our "place in line" during the wait time.  Once our paperwork was all authenticated in Washington D.C. at the Dept. of State and the Ethiopian Embassy, it was mailed back to our agency. It was then that we were officially a waiting family and placed on the wait list.  It was an exciting day that we found out we are lucky number......68! :)

We can watch the number decline as referrals come in for families before us. We get monthly updates on the first business day of the month from our agency.  From what we've seen so far, the referrals in a month vary widely. For example, October had 13 (which was abnormally large from what we hear) and November had none.  So far in groups we're a part of through our agency we hear 'chatter' and December sounds like it's been quiet as well.

So, we are just celebrating our number 68 this Christmas and hope you have a wonderful holiday as well. Merry Christmas!

Paperwork

Now that we've shared some on how we got here, we'll fill you in on where we are currently in the process. If you notice on the web version, on the right side there is a timeline of major steps accomplished in the process so far. You can see we started this way back in March and took our time on our home study over the summer due to the fact that Asher was still a little squirt. (well, to be honest and a bit of a handful as a baby!) A document was required after completing our home study from U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services that took some time to receive.

Happy Birthday to me--we sent our USCIS paperwork out

After that got processed, we received a fingerprinting appointment....

Disappointing no black fingers to show for it, but freshly fingerprinted here.

Then, we wrapped up our dossier once our USCIS document was received. A dossier is all the required documents that will be sent to Ethiopia along with our home study which is essentially everything about us, our family, history and current life. Consider adoption like a super extended pregnancy and this paperwork was my baby for a couple of months. So, here you have my 'pregnancy' shot for this one. :)

Our dossier: proof of our entire life on paper

On November 7, our dossier left our hands and was mailed. When the FedEx guy took the envelope Harlyn asked "Is he getting our baby?" :) Obviously the concept of time and what is really going on isn't there yet, but we'll work on it. At least she was ready with open arms right then!